Dating is Tough

To say that I’m fluent in this subject would be the understatement of the century. You’ve heard of them: Match, Farmer’s Only, EHarmony, Tinder, Bumble, Hinge; just to name a few. Online dating apps. * big sigh * 

Some people have had amazing success with this, and that’s great! But me? Nope. Nada. Nothing. No way. Even though I’ve prayed to God for a nice man to find me, my dating life has turned into a series of no’s all over the map from being ghosted (this means texting with a slow fade out, dropping all communication), to forgotten about, or told, “God is giving me signs I shouldn’t be dating anyone right now.” Honestly, I’ve heard every single excuse in the book and if I told you even just half the stories that have happened to me, you wouldn’t believe them.

After being blown off three times in one week, I said GOODBYE to both of my dating apps and deleted them. I came to the resolution that if I’m going to meet someone, it’s going to be organic and well, I’ll just have to make more of an effort to get out there. Not hide behind a small screen, where I talk to someone for two days and then we fall out of touch. It wasn’t worth it anymore. But! Shortly after deleting my apps, I heard from a cute guy, I met through friends.

“Hey! Can I take you to brunch on Sunday? We need to hang out!”, he text me.

That was the second time he had asked. The first time we were supposed to go out for sushi, but with our busy summer schedules it didn’t work out. Needless to say, I was really excited to meet up with someone and even more excited that he was pursuing ME and not the other way around.

“Yes! Let’s do it!” I responded.

A little more small talk and a few days later, Sunday was here. I went to church and was really excited at the thought of brunch, because hello? It’s brunch. Give me all the eggs, toast, and bacon. We exchanged a few texts before meeting up:

“I invited my friend and his lady to meet us out too, if that’s okay?” he said.

Of course that was okay. I honestly love meeting new people and still…we were going to have brunch, so it didn’t matter. I could still stuff my face and have fun with a cute guy and his friends.

But sadly, in the back of my brain, I had a twinge of doubt. Because my hopes were high about meeting this cute guy, I was a little on edge that things were working out too smoothly. I’m constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop because if there is anything history has taught me, it’s that the other shoe WILL drop and it’s just a matter of time when it DOES drop.

I arrive at the restaurant and am greeted by my date who flashed me his pearly whites and gave me a hug before we entered the loud, trendy establishment. After exchanging yells with the hostess due to the music being so loud, we learned that we had an hour and a half wait. We decided to grab some mimosas at the bar while we waited for his friends. Upon ordering, the bartender asks us if we need food menus, to which my date responds:

“No, we don’t need any…. well, are you hungry?”, as he looks over at me, inquisitively but confident I’d say no.  
BLOG40  The waitress has already almost turned her entire body away from us when I sheepishly respond with,

“No, that’s okay, I’m good.”

I felt dumb. I was hungry! I’m always so honest, but anything dating or guy related is not my element. I didn’t want to be the only one of four, eating and my dates’ friend still wasn’t there, so I wanted to feel out the situation when they arrived. I was thankful I had some chocolate rice cakes before I left my house. Appetizing, right?!

Several minutes later, as the loud, early 2000’s pop music beat on, my date and I were struggling to hear each other when his friend showed up with a girlfriend, and girlfriends best friend and get this: NONE of them wanted food and before I knew it: my date, his best friend, his best friend’s girlfriend, and his best friend’s girlfriends BEST friend, began ripping shots and having a complete Sunday Funday, while I sat with my mimosa and a grumbling tummy.

There it was, the shoe had dropped. My cute date with the beautiful pearly whites had all gone out the window and I sat there wondering if I’d ever be a girl who was able to meet someone truly great. Someone who wants to pursue me. Someone who thinks I’m worth more than drinks and shots on a Sunday Funday. But, it was in that moment that I remembered what had resonated with me at church that day, “Don’t base your faith on your earthly experience.”

Meaning, even though we are conditioned to think in a way based on our own experiences, or for mine example…that every date will be the absolute worst or that I’ve heard every single excuse in the book; ultimately, we have a good, good Father. He knows the desires in my heart. He knows that I want to meet a great man and I do have faith, that one day, he’s going to reveal him to me. And, I’m pretty sure that I won’t find him, ripping shots with his friends on Sunday after church haha.

So, for all my single ladies out there, if you’ve had the roughest time dating, you’ve sworn off dating apps (like me), or even if you just feel hopeless, remember you’re not alone and the Lord does know the desires you have in your heart. Instead of looking at it through earthly lenses, think about how He is holding you in his hands, protecting you from things that were never meant to be.

I will say, looking back, the Sunday Funday date is a great story and thankfully, I learned within minutes of meeting up with my date that he’s 100% not the guy for me and I’m glad it was a quick lesson. 

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1 comment

This is amazing! I’m SO thankful and (selfishly) happy to hear that someone else was also fed up with the dating sites. Though I am sorry that they didn’t work for you. I’m the last of my single friends and a lot of times, feel like the last of single people in general. I’m coming to terms with it…slowly. Thankfully my friends have all married wonderful men and I’m constantly stuck with the question of where is mine? But thank you for the reminder that God is holding me in his hand and listens to the desires of my heart! And that I’m not alone :)

Jackie July 23, 2019

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