If No One Has Told You...

I woke up in the middle of the night, ugh I feel sick…,I thought as I reached for the water on my nightstand. I noted the early morning hour while I resisted the temptation to pick up my phone and peruse social media. My oblivious self from earlier was now fully aware of all the Super Bowl food I had consumed that day. As I rolled over to my side, my irrational, tired self shown its true colors, when it berated me for eating all the food I ate, while lying there in sour stomach shame. I remembered passing by a mirror earlier during the Super Bowl (during a quick walk by) and picking apart my arms, my stomach, and feeling like I had failed myself because I had no self control. In that moment in bed, I reached down, felt my stomach and shamefully tried to conquer my negative thoughts while drifting back to sleep.

Each and every one of us has something that they don’t particularly like about their outward appearance—whether it be their weight, their arms, legs, a mole or birthmark, their hair, and so on. Sadly, I have two friends that struggle with bulimia and while I’ve never been there, I partially understand what is capable of driving them to that point. There are days that I feel like I have no self control. I tell myself I’ll start over in the morning and be good. Then, tomorrow comes and goes and it begins again, the day after. Like a vicious cycle. 

Because we live in such a grueling, image driven world, there are days that I wake up and still feel like I'm not good enough. I'm positive that I'm not the only one that struggles with these very real thoughts. Body dysmorphia IS real and it’s so difficult to get past. It's easy to listen to the negative thoughts in your brain and tell yourself straight.up.lies.: you’ll never be good enough, you’ll never be skinny enough, you’ll never be muscular enough, etc. And with that, today, I fought sadness. I got out bed thinking I wasn’t skinny enough. I walked past the scale with dread, didn’t bother to look in the mirror and did my best to press forward and not think about it.  

BUT, while I may have those really vulnerable and raw days, I surround myself with friends who will recognize this and lift me up. They remind me that no one is perfect, that every person on this earth isn’t 100% satisfied with their body and would change something, if they could. Oddly enough, a friend happened to text me about diets, about not wanting to feel shame with every bite of dessert and indulgent food. We had a conversation that I didn't know I needed to hear…until I heard it:
“…everyone carries weight differently…everyone looks so incredibly different… and the people who know you the best, will LOVE you, for you! YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!! …and you literally look awesome!!!”

That's all it took to turn my day around! As cliche as it sounds, life isn’t about beating yourself up, it’s about acknowledging that none of us has ever done this before and each day is a gift, truly. It’s remembering that we don’t have to be perfect or fit into a mold. So, if no one has told you today: YOU are beautiful. YOU are enough. YOU are loved.



Thank,you! You ARE enough, you ARE loved❤️

Denise February 05, 2019

You and your sisters are amazing !!! You uplifted me today, when I read this! I have Lupus, RA, ulcerative colitis, asthma and a few other diagnoses and most days feel horrible! My hair is thinning, I’m carring more weight than I should. Each day ,I’ try to do better than the day before. I know GOD is in control and I am loved by my husband, 4 children, daughter in law and son in laws, 8 grandchildren and another on the way, so I need to remember the gifts I have been given and be so grateful because I am blessed! So are you!!!! 💜

Wsnda Jolley February 05, 2019

We all need to give ourselves this daily reminder, we are enough!

Dana February 05, 2019

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